But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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