Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
