I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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