You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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