I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
