Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
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