The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I am naked and annoyed.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
