eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
