One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
