Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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