I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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