I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
