The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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