That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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