so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I am available for nakedness
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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