Dual....:-)
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
