He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
