i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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