everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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