Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
