hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
