so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
