I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
i drank out of a bidet.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
