How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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