She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
