Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
