i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
