singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
