I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
