I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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