? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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