Cold hands, warm shart.
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
