Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
