1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
