shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
