Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
