I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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