Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
