Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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