All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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