walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
