he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
