i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Mom said you looked used
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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