Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
