Are we in a gay sports bar?
Pappa wants mamma naked
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
