My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
