that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
from now on my penis is your penis
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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