When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
