Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
