This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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